You know what's really, really annoying but loved at the same time? Kid's camp songs.
Now, I'm still a kid. But I'm talking six-year-olds-screaming-at-the-top-of-their-lungs camp songs. I hate them. Want to know why? YES. The answer is yes, you do.
1. They make no sense.
Allow me to give you an example:
Counselor: TAAAARZAN!
Kids: TAAARZAN!
Counselor: SWINGING FROM A RUBBER BAND!
Kids: SWINGING FROM A RUBBER BAND!
Counselor: FELL INTO A FRYING PAN!
Kids: FELL INTO A FRYING PAN!
Counselor: NOW HE HAS A TAN!
Kids: NOW HE HAS A TAN!
(this is an actual song)
I get that they're supposed to be silly, but C'MON. It's downright annoying.
2. They usually have really annoying dances that go along with them
Okay, I understand if you want us to clap our hands. Snap our fingers, stomp our feet, whatever. It's cute. It's a different story when you're swinging your hips, flicking your tongue, hopping on one foot while swiveling the other, patting your head, rolling your eyes backwards on every third beat, doing the declaration of independence in sign language with one hand, and knitting with your butt cheeks.
3. They're usually obnoxiously loud
LET'S MAKE OURSELVES HEARD IN THE CAMP SIXTEEN MILES AWAY! C'MON KIDS, LET'S MAKE SURE ANY HOPES OF BEING ABLE TO HEAR ANYTHING LOUDER THAN A SHOUT WHEN WE'RE OLDER ARE DECIMATED!
AAAAH!
--
On the topic of camps, my dad told me the PUNNIEST campfire skit that I felt I must share.
There are two doctors, two nurses nurse, and a patient. The patient is laying down with a blanket over him.
Doc 1: -looks under blanket- Cancer, I'm sure of it.
Doc 2: -looks under blanket- No, it's a tumor.
Doc 1: -looks again- Cancer.
Doc 2: -looks again- Tumor.
Doc 1: Cancer!
Doc 2: Tumor!
Nurse 1: -reaches under blankets and pulls out a can- It's a can, sir.
Nurse 2: -reaches under blankets and pulls out 2 cans- Look, two more!
Get it? Can, sir= cancer. Two more= tumor.
Hehehe... he... heh.
BU DUM CSHH!
--
In other news, I'm leaving for the EAST COAST in a few days. For three weeks. So for my ONE ENTIRE subscriber, I won't be posting for a while. I'm sure you'll miss me.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
That's punny
For the lovers of words...
1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
16. A calendar’s days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. I thought out of maybe 10 of these puns, one would make me laugh but unforunately no pun in ten did.
31. Atheism the only non prophet organisation
32. Seven days without water makes one weak.
33. Is your smug psychic over-charging you? Perhaps you can strike a happy medium.
34. The two hippies driving the mountain road left no turn unstoned.
35. Puns are for younger readers, not for groan adults!
36. My dad said he didn’t like how threadbare the new fashionable jeans looked, but I wore mine out anyway.
37. The Pope wears all leather, wholly cow shoes.
38. He was a modest dairy farmer and always said he owed his success to udders.
39. Law students who never study usually become alcoholics because they can never pass the bar.
40. DaVinci made a proposal that others help him build an ornithopter, but it didn’t fly.
41. Ask a tied up piece of twine that’s been rubbed all over the sidewalk if it’s a rope and it’s likely to reply that it’s a frayed knot.
C'mon, you gotta give them credit... a pun is a rare medium well-done.
BU DUM CHHHH!
1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
16. A calendar’s days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. I thought out of maybe 10 of these puns, one would make me laugh but unforunately no pun in ten did.
31. Atheism the only non prophet organisation
32. Seven days without water makes one weak.
33. Is your smug psychic over-charging you? Perhaps you can strike a happy medium.
34. The two hippies driving the mountain road left no turn unstoned.
35. Puns are for younger readers, not for groan adults!
36. My dad said he didn’t like how threadbare the new fashionable jeans looked, but I wore mine out anyway.
37. The Pope wears all leather, wholly cow shoes.
38. He was a modest dairy farmer and always said he owed his success to udders.
39. Law students who never study usually become alcoholics because they can never pass the bar.
40. DaVinci made a proposal that others help him build an ornithopter, but it didn’t fly.
41. Ask a tied up piece of twine that’s been rubbed all over the sidewalk if it’s a rope and it’s likely to reply that it’s a frayed knot.
C'mon, you gotta give them credit... a pun is a rare medium well-done.
BU DUM CHHHH!
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